February 1, 2012

Grandma and Grandpa Wisdom

We played King of the Hill on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites. If we got hurt, mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome, and then we got our butt spanked because we were supposed to stay in the yard.

Now for our grandchildren, it’s a trip to the emergency room followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then mom calling the attorney to sue the constructor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
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After grandpa retired, first grader Zeno knew just the right gift. Tears came to grandpa’s eyes when he unwrapped the present of official business cards with his new title: Full-time Grandpa. Zeno said, “Congratulations on your retirement. Now your full-time job is just being my grandpa.” Grandpa jokingly asked, “How much do I get paid?” Zeno responded, “As many hugs as you want each day.” Grandpa hugged Zeno and replied, “Well, I guess that means I’m a rich man.”
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When grandma asked her granddaughter, Evy, “What do you say if a stranger gives you candy?” She looked at her and said, “Trick or treat.”
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When I hear music I love, I know I can’t carry a tune and don’t have much rhythm, so I sit self-consciously and listen. When my grandkids hear the music, they feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words, and if they don’t know them, they make up their own.
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You know you are a grandparent when you have the spare bedroom decorated in a Goodnight Moon theme.
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Having new baby sister, Jordyn, in the house brought out the “little mother” in big sister, Kaylie. She watched mommy’s every move. Kaylie became an expert on what to do when Jordyn cried. Grandma was holding the baby one day when Jordyn began to cry inconsolably. Grandma’s distress in figuring out what would quiet the baby, turned into laughter when Kaylie ran into the room shouting, “It’s okay, Grandma, just take out your boobie!”