50+ Lifestyles

Dealing with Loss

By Mary Huebbe
Marketing Consultant
Ridgecrest Village

As winter days seem longer and longer and our weather gets colder, it leaves some of us feeling lonely and depressed. It gives us time to reflect on the things we’ve lost and feel the empty hole that we had hidden away for a while. I know
these feelings because of a loss I just recently had, and so I want to help others get over that emptiness. We can never replace a person, but we can refill the hole. We need to keep the memories of them alive and yet still move forward in our lives.

There are many things we can do, but one thing I found to work the best was to fill my time with church activity. Spend time with people from your church and involve yourself in the many activities your church offers. Let people in and enjoy the friendships they are offering.

Staying social is very important. It helps us keep track of the now instead of focusing in the past. If you have a way to surround yourself with others, DO IT! Although we feel as if we are the only one feeling this way, I know for a fact we are not. Many people have been through the same thing as we have, and others are going through it as you read this. Loss is something that almost everyone will feel at some point in their lives.

I went through stages. The first was denial. I thought there must have been a mistake, because my sister was too young to die. Then I just became extremely angry, and no matter what anyone said to me, I was mad. Mad at her for leaving and not fighting harder, mad at God for taking her, and most of all mad at myself for not being there for her more. This stage lasted quite a while. I didn’t want to talk to anyone in my family, and I basically isolated myself from anyone that would remind me of her. I did surround myself with people, but they were the wrong people. These people are the ones that agreed with me about being angry and didn’t do anything to help me get to the acceptance stage.

My savior: There were many people praying for me and trying to get me to open back up. I was involved in a prayer group at work, which I barely ever attended and tried to avoid as much as possible after her death. Fortunately for me, people at work cared, and they started strongly encouraging me to attend the prayer group. One of Ridgecrest Village’s residents here shares her personal time to teach and guide us. She gently talked with all of us, but in hind sight, she was really focused on me. She talked about how much God loved all of us and reminded me that no matter what, He was right there holding my hand. It was after that class that I finally was able to open and read all the cards and letters I found on my desk the day I returned to work. So much love and support was right there in front of me. That’s when I finally surrounded myself with the right people.

Accepting the fact that my sister was physically gone, but definitely not forgotten, I have been able to move forward. I am so thankful for the family I have at Ridgecrest, and the family I was given from God. I hope that everyone that reads this finds peace of mind knowing many of your friends and family care about you.

God Bless all of you!