50+ Lifestyles

Dealing with Illness

By Mary Huebbe
Marketing Consultant
Ridgecrest Village

Cancer is a thriving illness that still has no cure. It seems every time I turn around, someone is getting diagnosed with a different kind. Everyone handles it differently, and it affects everyone differently. So, how do we support someone when they are diagnosed? What are the right words to use to help them with their fears and concerns?

To start off, one of my answers would be, “You can’t.” There isn’t a correct response or a standard response. Talking to one of my friends here at Ridgecrest who is going through this, she said, “It felt like my life just stopped. I couldn’t breathe. Everyone was telling me everything would be fine. I was telling myself, this is the end!” Our first thoughts are of the past, when cancer was first discovered. No treatments were available, and nothing could stop or slow it down. An oncologist wasn’t even considered.

The good news is we now have oncologists who continue to work with many different doctors, scientists, and chemists from around the world. They study the anatomy and physiology, as well as other fields, to help increase our understanding of cancer. They are the driving force that works hard to find a cure. In the meantime, they have found ways to slow down cancer and put it in remission. This is the reason we should all have hope and not fear as much.

Our job would be to just listen. A friend should be there when they want to share their story. Most importantly though, we need to give them the space and time when they don’t want your questions about cancer. Illnesses are really an internal fight within us. No one else can feel what we are feeling and everyone reacts differently to the news. One person might want someone with them at all time, while another would prefer to be alone. Both choices need to be respected. That is what makes it hard on us “outsiders,” because our need to fix and help kicks in the minute we think someone we care about is ill.

Having a community is probably one of the most important things needed when someone is ill. Ridgecrest Village is their own community. When you move into our facility, our residents say, “It is like a family here.” We all struggle with different events and losses in our lives. Being at Ridgecrest Village gives us faithful friends who are here supporting us and love us through it all. One resident will drive another resident to the doctor’s office, or ride along with them if they are using our transportation. They always offer support and encouraging words. In my opinion, that support and love can go a long way to kick cancer’s butt!

Our full-time Chaplain Sue is great at comforting those with an illness. She even has a support group for those who have a major disease or the beginning of dementia. Ridgecrest is a Christian organization and offers Independent Living, Assisted Living, and Crest Health Center all have residents that care for one another. We have Bible Studies, exercise programs, a woodshop, two beauty parlors and barbers, and free transportation to doctors, dentists, shopping and of course many local events like Circa 21 dinner theater, Adler Theater events, museums, and more. If you have parents or grandparents at least 62 years old, encourage them to come in for a tour. The peace of mind for them to be in a great retirement village should be appealing to them and you. Once they see Ridgecrest Village or come for a free lunch and a tour, they will be glad they did. Someday they will thank you when you help them find the fun and active lifestyle here at Ridgecrest Village.

Contact Mary Huebbe or Bob Morrison for a lunch and tour. Call (563) 391-3430 or email us at MHuebbe@ridgecrestvillage.org or BMorrison@ridgecrestvillage.org.

Mary Huebbe is the marketing consultant for Ridgecrest Village in Davenport, Iowa. For more information about Ridgecrest Village, contact Mary at (563) 388-3215 or BMorrison@RidgecrestVillage.org.