50+ Lifestyles

Your Advocacy Connection

Offering Comprehensive Long Term Care Solutions and Patient Advocacy

By Tiffany Whittaker
GolderCare Solutions

Let’s Talk

There’s nothing like having a discussion that no one wants to have. I mean, how do you begin this uncomfortable conversation? Is there a right place? Is there a right time? Wait, I have the answer to this one…Yes, now!

When discussing long term care or placement of any kind, it should really be addressed with respect and compassion. When you talk to your kids about “the facts of life,” you hope you’re doing it well before it’s an issue, yet not too soon as to place any ideas in their innocent minds. This also applies to initiating the delicate discussion of long term care needs with a parent or loved one.

If you can discuss placement and/or long term care well in advance of needing to make the decision in the midst of a crisis, you will feel much more confident with your choice. Caregivers tend to feel guilt associated with making decisions on placement for multiple reasons. Spouses and/or children often do not know what their loved ones want. So begins the confusion. The biggest questions I’ve encountered with our clients is when they’re ready to place Mom, Dad, brother, aunt, etc. in a facility, they question “Is it too soon?” “Should I have done this a long time ago?” “Do they have the right legal documents?” “If not, do they have capacity to sign new documents?” Oh, the questions that start to pour in! To say that you will not feel  overwhelmed is not realistic. Stress is part of the package. It is how you manage this stress that impacts your well-being both physically and emotionally moving forward. Knowledge is power! Don’t put yourself in a situation that is preventable.

Talk to your family. These are people you love and care about. Find out what their wishes are. What would be important to them if they had to live in a facility? What makes their daily life comfortable? Talk about legal documents. Do they have Powers of Attorney? Living Will? What powers do those documents provide? What have they been doing with their money over the years? It may seem invasive, but it’s important! If Medicaid is needed down the road, you will need to know what they have been doing with their money over the past 5 years. You could end up with a disqualification or a spend down. If we know about this before a medicaid application is made, we can often maximize how much you ultimately spend on care without compromising having access to care. By being proactive, asking the right questions early on, this already stressful period of time goes much more smoothly and allows caregivers more time to focus on their own personal lives.

Have the talk. Be sensitive, yet get the information you need. Get a handle on their finances, legal documents and most importantly, their wishes now, before they actually need care. Then turn around and tell your loved ones what you’d like for yourself. We all know that tomorrow is uncertain.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Tiffany Whittaker is a Benefits Advocate for GolderCare Solutions. She uses her diverse knowledge and experience in benefits planning to advocate for seniors and those who are disabled.  GolderCare Solutions provides long term care solutions for both Iowa and Illinois clients.  You can reach Tiffany at GolderCare Solutions Unlimited, LLC (309) 764-2273