50+ Lifestyles

The Importance of Traditions

By Mary Schricker Gemberling

“Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends.”

During the holidays, most of us have certain things we always do; holiday traditions that seem to stick in our
memories. In addition to making holidays memorable, traditions serve a higher purpose.

• They build a sense of stability. When families take part in rituals, trust builds. Family members learn that regardless
  of the changes life brings, traditions will be a consistent constant.
• Traditions build unity. When individuals within a family join together to take part in a ritual, they experience a sense of belonging to something bigger than themselves. When children are welcomed to take part in family traditions, it helps them to feel accepted within their family unit.
• Traditions build identity. When families do something together year and year, it becomes a part of who they are and how they celebrate.
• Traditions build connections to the past. Traditions can serve as a bridge from the past to the present and from the older generation to the younger. As family members die, divorce, grow older and move away traditions can be the one single link that still ties the remaining family together and allows them to remember the happier times.

I still remember how much I looked forward to our family’s Christmas traditions as a child growing up in St. Louis. Just after Thanksgiving, my dad hung brightly colored lights on the exterior of our home, and placed a large plastic nativity set in the front yard. Choosing and decorating the live Christmas tree was a day-long event for the entire family. In the days before Christmas, the aromas of nut bread, fruitcake, cookies and pumpkin pie wafted throughout the house. When Christmas Eve finally arrived, Mom, Dad, my sister and I, dressed in our finest festive clothing, attended candlelight services at our church. I still remember the tranquil feeling that came over me as we lit our candles and sang Silent Night!  After refreshments and fellowship we headed home to an earlier than normal bedtime, with the threat that Santa would not come until we were fast asleep.

On Christmas morning we were not allowed into the living room until my parents awoke, turned on the tree lights, and were in position to see the expressions on our faces when we first gazed in wonder at the surprises awaiting us! After the presents had all been opened, the wrappings discarded, and breakfast eaten, it was time to get ready for all the people who would be joining us for dinner. My mom and dad assumed the roles of matriarch and patriarch of our extended family, thus hosting all holiday dinners. Once we were old enough, my sister and I were responsible for setting the table in our very formal dining room (and occasionally sneaking a cookie from the tray on the buffet). My mom would be in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the dinner while my dad busied himself with stacking wood and preparing for the roaring fire we would later enjoy. With the preparations complete, we once again dressed in our fancy Christmas clothes and waited for the guests to arrive. Soon celebratory greetings, warm hugs and the exchange of gifts followed. With aunts and uncles, cousins and friends surrounding the table, grace was said, and we began feasting on roast turkey, stuffing, and all the trimmings. The traditions of my childhood holidays might be rooted as much in the foods as they were in the people and events surrounding them!

When I married and had children, our holidays became a combination of both the old and the new. I found that there were some traditions that I wanted to retain while others didn’t seem to fit the changing times. Now many years later with a blended family, I have found that compromise is critical in allowing everyone to retain some of the security of their own traditions, while adapting to the needs of the entire group.

Our children and grandchildren now come to our home on a particular weekend around Christmas to celebrate together. This allows them to be in their homes on the actual holiday to establish their own individual family traditions. In five years since Gary and I met, the numbers have grown to eight adults, ten grandchildren, and an occasional boyfriend or two. We spend the entire weekend together, eating, laughing, exchanging gifts and making memories. The menu is different, the table less formal and overall much more casual than the Christmases of my youth. But come dinnertime, we all gather around our large wooden table, join hands and thank God for the wonderful blessings of love, family and friendship he has bestowed on us all!

“Christmas … is not an eternal event at all, but a piece of one’s home that one carries in one’s heart.”

Mary, a former educator and Seniors Real Estate Specialist, is the author of three books: The West End Kid, Hotel Blackhawk; A Century of Elegance and A Labor of Love; My Personal Journey through the World of Caregiving (available at www.amazon.com).