50+ Lifestyles

Care for the Caregiver

By Yolanda Kirk
Program Director at Alternatives

Many of us are suddenly thrust into having to care for a loved one due to illness, mental health deterioration, or death of a guardian. For most, the responsibility of caregiving is received without any prior training or instruction – caregiving literally becomes on-the-job training. Yet, there are some who have been privileged to prepare themselves with Caregiver training when a parent is diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease. Or when a sibling has developed a terminal illness and there is time for parenting classes, to prepare you for the new responsibility of caring for their children.

There are countless life scenarios that cause one to become a Caregiver. Throughout my many encounters as a counselor, I have noticed a common theme among the majority of my clients, which is the struggle of guilt regarding self-care.

The main focus of the Caregiver becomes making sure an aging parent is comfortable at home as long as possible or making sure their loved one is receiving the proper care at a nursing facility. As a result Caregivers lose sight of their personal health and well-being. The feelings associated with caregiving can be overpowering and even incapacitating which makes self-care crucial for the Caregiver.

Many Caregivers feel there are many things they would like to do, but just don’t have the time. Here are a few things to be mindful of as you consider the importance of Self-care:

• Your feelings are valid, negative powerless feelings are normal in caregiving. Working on Self-care will help you to manage your emotions.
• Let go of the controls and admit that you need help. When a family member or close friend offers to help you, accept it. Be proactive and prepare a list of tasks or chores that is easy for you to allow someone else to do or assist you with. Asking or accepting help is a sign of strength not weakness and will be beneficial for both you and your loved one.
• Think about activities that you use to enjoy and refreshes you, then take the time to do them. Go to a movie, read a book or connect with an old friend. It is okay to take a break from your loved one. While you are in need of a break from them, they may very well need a break from you too.
• It is okay to seek professional help from a therapist, clergy or Respite provider agencies. Remember you are important in your role as a Caregiver. If you do not care for yourself you will be unable to effectively care for your loved one.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and need a break from caring for a loved one please contact our office at 1-800-798-0988, Alternatives is here to help you. We will schedule an appointment with you and provide a free, complete analysis of your needs. Together, we can help navigate a plan of care that will meet you and your aging loved ones needs.