50+ Lifestyles

Just Saying…

By Q.C. Jones

Sorry No Sweets – A Thanksgiving History

While surfing the internet (Opps…I mean researching for this article.), I came across the “Thanksgiving Controversy” thing. For those of you unfamiliar with the controversy allow me to provide you with some cliff notes. Because I find some of these as hard to swallow as big slice of dried out turkey breast, I will list each of these under the heading of “Some People Say” and take a neutral stance on each of them.

Thanksgiving Controversy. Some People Say:

• The original Thanksgiving feast took place in Mexico a hundred years before the Pilgrim’s party. If this were the case the official name would have been “Fiesta de accion de gracias” which rolls of the tongue like the molten cheese on a greasy jalapeno crisp.
• The first Thanksgiving took place in Virginia with zero Pilgrims present and not in Plymouth Massachusetts as proclaimed by President John F. Kennedy in 1962.
• The Pilgrims never had a Thanksgiving feast and the whole thing was made up in the 1920’s to promote the cranberry industry.
• Thanksgiving is pure cultural imperialism and should be banished from our holiday calendar.

On this last point, allow me to provide you with a quote from Professor Robert Jensen. “One indication of moral progress in the United States would be the replacement of Thanksgiving Day and its self-indulgent family feasting with a National Day of Atonement accompanied by a self-reflective collective fasting.” This Jensen fellow hails from the University of Texas and in our research, we could not find the good professor wearing a cowboy Stetson, much less a “Capotain” (the styling headwear of self-respecting Pilgrims).

All this controversy stuff drives us down a path more twisted than that famous “over the river and through the woods” route to grandma’s turkey day. When no controversy exists, someone will roll one up for you. Here’s mine.

There were no pies, cakes, cookies, brownies, or even Iowa cinnamon rolls at the Pilgrim Fest.

The Pilgrims were out of sugar. According to an article covering the original Thanksgiving on History.com: “…many of the dishes were likely prepared using traditional Native American spices and cooking methods. Because the Pilgrims had no oven and the Mayflower’s sugar supply had dwindled by the fall of 1621, the meal did not feature pies, cakes, or other desserts, which have become a hallmark of contemporary celebrations…” My grandma said different.

Now a miscellany of thoughts on sugar. Sugar was only discovered by people in Western Europe following the Crusades and the first report/record of sugar in England came in 1069. Sugar was considered a miracle because it was seen as sweeter than honey without those messy bees. It was imported from the middle east and was seen as both a medicine and a luxury.

The only folks who caught a sugar buzz were rich nobility. They learned sugar caused tooth decay. During the times of the English Tudors, black (and probably rotten) teeth became so common amongst the “uppity ups” that common folks began darkening their teeth to emulate the rich and give everyone the impression they could afford sugar.

Columbus changed the world, by bringing sugar cane to America, or at least to the Caribbean. By the end of the 1600th Century Europeans were getting a steady supply of the stuff from the new world. Every country with a colony in the New World established their very own supply of infamous white powder and it changed the world.

Very few people versed in things European have forgotten the famous love affair of Napoleon and Josephine. It seems Jose’ spent her formative years on her family’s massive sugar plantation in Martinique. She had hot and cold running sugar but missed the story commonly repeated in the QC Jones household.
QC’s kids were constantly lectured on “the sugar bugs” and required to brush their teeth after every sugary snack, Josephine not so much. Josephine had famously rotten teeth. Check out the paintings from the time – and there are many. She did learn to smile but, it is a closed lip smile. Maybe Napoleon was out conquering Europe in the hopes of finding a good set of dentures for his love.
Sugar refining creates a biproduct, molasses. The more crystalline sugar produced the greater the volume of molasses. Many of my granny’s recipes called for this thick dark syrup, but the overall most important recipe using molasses is rum. Many of the islands famous for sugar are also noted for rum. While we have no data on the Pilgrims having a little sippy-po with their turkey, we can tell you this. During the years just preceding the American Revolution, the per capita consumption of rum in America was three gallons for every man, woman, and child.

First Thanksgiving, no thanks. George Washington’s Inauguration, yes please.
According to Doug Frost, writing for a Hearst Publication called SFGate, George Washington insisting on a barrel of Barbados rum at his 1789 inauguration. That sounds better than a Turkey neck.

Just saying…