50+ Lifestyles

Your Advocacy Connection

By Kathy Nitz
GolderCare Solutions

Holiday Visits – Is this Normal?

Holidays are when families spend more time together. That extended time gives us a broader picture of the current health of parent, sibling, or relative. Observing physical problems is easy. Even a child knows when to get a Band-Aid. The need for a physical therapist or doctor can also be obvious with mobility issues. But what about the brain? That can take some detective work.

Someone with memory loss or confusion can often cover for a short visit, but the symptoms become more evident the longer you are together. Out of town family may see a “sudden” change and overreact. The daily caregiver may have adjusted to compensate for the loved one’s weakness and thinks everything is normal.
What is normal and when do you need to take action?

We talk with family members from “Oh my gosh – mom can’t figure out how to change the clock on the microwave – it is time for a nursing home” TO “dad sometimes leaves the gas burner on and forgets how to get home when he goes walking – but he’s OK living alone.” It may be time to get some facts and look at behaviors with open eyes. Is it normal aging, a temporary delirium from an infection, or a form of dementia? How do you tell, and what do you do next?

When a family tells us dad has dementia, we asked if they have seen a doctor for a specific diagnosis. What is commonly referred to as dementia actually covers a number of different diseases and symptoms.

Delirium is a sudden onset (“mom was fine last week and now she has dementia”) and is usually caused by an infection.
The most common type of infection in older people is a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). Antibiotics can get things back to normal
in no time.

Dementia creeps up more gradually and over time. Dementia is a general umbrella term for a person’s decline in memory and cognitive abilities that interfere with daily life. The underlying cause could be Alzheimer’s, Vascular dementia, Frontotemporal dementia, Dementia with Lewy bodies, Parkinson’s, or a history of alcohol or drug abuse. One size does not fit all here.

Once you suspect something is not right, the next step is to see a doctor to determine a diagnosis. Only when you know what is wrong can you proceed with the correct treatment. Think about a droopy plant. Does it need more water? Less water? You start by checking the soil.

The Alzheimer’s Association has a very helpful pamphlet called 10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s – How to Identify and Address Concerns. With each of the warning signs it also lists what would be typical or normal age-related changes.

The big difference to the observer between normal age-related changes and changes of concern is the severity. Does mom forget the name of her best friend that she sees every week or the name of her new 15th grandchild that lives 3000 miles away?

Did she need to check her calendar to check her next Doctor appointment date or did she forget she even had an appointment? What about problem solving skills? Make cookies together – can mom still follow the recipe?

Warning sign 7 in the Alzheimer’s pamphlet lists misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps to find it. My husband had a relative that kept a tablet. When she put something away she wrote it in her tablet. Her daughter could not find the utility bill – mom checked the tablet – it was in the refrigerator.
In addition to memory changes, be alert for personality and mood changes. COVID made most of us withdraw from social activity but there is a difference between that and no longer being interested in getting back to social obligations. Personality changes can also make the person suspicious, fearful, confused, depressed and anxious when outside of their comfort zone.

If you notice any of these warning signs in your family member, it may be time to see a doctor. Many things could cause the changes in behavior. It could be as simple as an infection that needs antibiotics. If it is one of the many types of dementia, the earlier the diagnosis the more time you have to plan and to try medications that may slow down the progression of the disease. An early diagnosis also gives more time to make sure documents and finances are in order for when your loved one may eventually need care. GolderCare can help you through the maze of issues in the care journey. Lost time is lost opportunities.

Kathy Nitz is the Lead Benefits Advocate for GolderCare Solutions. She uses her wealth of knowledge and experience in benefits planning to advocate for seniors and those who are disabled. You can reach GolderCare at (309) 764-2273 and learn more at www.goldercare.com.