January 5, 2022
Just Saying…
By Q.C. Jones
Minor December Derecho
Recalling the words of the 1973 Lynyrd Skynyrd hit, Tuesday’s Gone, December’s gone with the wind. While our little windstorm of mid-December didn’t quite live up to the Derecho of 2020, the gales and gusts did measure high on QC Jones’ personal Richter Scale. Even the fearless cat, Mr. T (for Trouble), who is notorious for trying to escape into the night whenever the door opens, remained stationary on his perch high atop my favorite chair rather than bolt for the outdoors.
Searching through my rusty but still functional memory banks, I do not recall the term Derecho finding its way into my vocabulary until 2020. And once more demonstrating the results of my daily Spanish lessons, allow me to point out “derecho” is the Spanish word for right, as in turn right at the big tree. Apparently, these wind things ignored the tree and just knocked them down instead.
But there are many good things to be said about the December past. First, warm weather and no snow. Secondly, when do you ever remember going out on December 15th without a winter coat or at least a warm jacket? Aside from the Earth melting into the Sun and Miami becoming a cool place to explore via a scuba dive, I suspect most of our readers will struggle to complain about that kind of weather. But January promises to be different.
Curious Consumer Product
If ever there was a month to fear, January is the one. According to an oldish article appearing on Legacy.com, January is the leading, dare I say most popular, month to die in. Statistically September is the safest month. These folks at Legacy are pretty much the go to guys on the topic of dying. Quoting their website, “Legacy is the global leader in digital memorialization and end-of-life planning.” Displaying more of their macabre existence, they also say, and again I quote, “No other partner can match our revenue opportunities, leads, and data insights, or offer you more access to your key audience: end-of-life consumers.”
Like most of us, I consider myself to be a consumer. For instance, I am a consumer of French Fries, tacos, toothpaste, and an occasional glass of bourbon. I might even be viewed as a consumer of cous cous and cottage cheese, but I have never considered myself an “end of life consumer.”
Pie for the Discerning Palette
Sticking with the topic of consuming, consumption, and such, if my consumption of anything could be tied to becoming one of the aforementioned consumers, it would be my predisposed proclivity to the consumption of pies.
Back in July we talked about Jimmy Cagney’s Yankee Doodle Dandy, and the verse that went something like this: “I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy, Yankee Doodle do or die, a real live, a real live nephew of my Uncle Sam, born on the fourth of July.” What would you say if I told you I was born on National Pie Day? Would you believe my pie thing is preordained and persistently unstoppable?
Let’s explore a slice of this pie thing. If only the lovely Marie Antoinette would have said, “Let them eat pie,” she might not have lost her head. Pies are historic, and pies are of the people. Pies have been around since the ancient Egyptians, who no doubt enjoyed a double sized slice during their visits to the Pyramids. The Romans reportedly learned to make pies from the Greeks. Strangely, the Greeks didn’t eat the crust, but that could have been tied to them not having my Grandma Opal’s crust recipe. On the topic of recipes, the first record of an actual pie recipe appeared in a Roman cookbook named Apicius in the First Century.
Some of you might remember previous bragging about educational background. I took four semesters of Latin in college. Armed with this personal recollection, I searched Amazon’s cookbook section and discovered the book is still in print and is now billed as The Oldest Cookbook. By the way, the book is shown in paperback, but maybe they meant papyrus back. Maybe you could pick up a copy and read on your way to the Forum.
Going on and on about pies, let me toss out one of the earliest recollections of pies in, well we might call it, literature. As a child of three years, my parents read and recited the joys of “piedom” via a 1950s version of a 1600s verse called Simple Simon. We will close out this episode with a few of my favorite verses along with commentary.
Simple Simon met a pieman, Going to the fair;
Says Simple Simon to the pieman, Let me taste your ware.
Says the pieman to Simple Simon, Show me first your penny;
Says Simple Simon to the pieman, Indeed I have not any.
I actually come from a long line of “piemen” or “piepersons.” My mother and my both of my grandmothers actually had a store which made and sold pies. I too am a noted, if not professional pieman. So, my opinion on the matter counts. The fried pies sold by the folks at the Arbuckle Mountain Fried Pie store at Interstate 35, exit 51 in Oklahoma as the best on the planet.
Just saying…
