50+ Lifestyles

Old and New Friends

By Mary Schricker Gemberling

“There are no strangers here;
only friends you haven’t yet met.”
… William Butler Yates

When Gary and I first met, we noticed that one of the traits we shared was our sense of adventure. We both love meeting new people, and in the early days of our relationship it seemed that one of us was constantly introducing the other to someone new. It was fun to blend the friends from our previous lives and watch those friendships expand. We also shared a love of travel, and when we did so it was almost always with a company not knowing any of the others on the tour. Of course, by the end of our trip we had our favorites and sometimes even kept in touch for a short while after we arrived back home. One of the reasons we chose Fort Myers for our winter home was we both had friends here which provided us with a built-in network of people with which to do things.

Now that Covid is somewhat behind us, we have also had the chance to meet many new neighbors at both the clubhouse and other community activities. We met Debbie and Mike and their friends Ken and Linda at a recent wine pairing dinner, and we had such a good time together that on another occasion we joined them for dinner. After that fun time together the six of us decided to have a monthly game night. Gary and I are running a Euchre club every Thursday afternoon where between twelve and twenty people show up and enjoy cards, conversation and camaraderie. Just about every midwestern state and Canada is represented.

Recently an old friend from my BG life (before Gary) surfaced. In the 1990s, my mom and dad’s Fort Myers’ neighbors and good friends were Rose and Joe. Over time I became friends with their daughter Diane but lost touch with her after my mom died. In December at a condo meeting I discovered that Diane and her husband Dave not only lived in Crown Colony but were our next door neighbors. We have had a great time getting re-acquainted. Joe has passed away, but 92 year old Rose is down for a visit; last week the five of us got together for dinner, and I just knew my mom had to be smiling down from heaven. One Quad City couple whose parents lived next door to me in the 1990s in Crystal Creek are down here for the winter. We’ve gone to a Hawkeye watch party and joined them at Wahoo Willies on Fort Myers Beach, both times meeting additional people from Iowa.

I am especially enjoying the ladies I have met in the book club which meets once a month. We also go to a potluck get-together at the pool on the last Thursday of the month and a monthly dinner club that tries out different area restaurants. We met Margaret and Steven last year, and they recently had us over for dinner along with some good friends of theirs from Germany. They knew Gary had once lived in Germany and had hosted a German foreign exchange student with whom he still stays in touch. We loved hearing Manuel and Pamela’s perspective on living in America.

Some of you may be thinking why we would want to make new friends at this late stage of our life, especially when we both already have many good friends, some of whom we have known for many years? We aren’t talking about replacing the friends we have, just adding more to the mix. When it comes to friendships, the saying,“the more the merrier” isn’t just a cliche. There is so much to gain, and absolutely nothing to lose by expanding our social circle. As we age It is so easy to get stuck in the status quo, doing what we always do with our time. But making new friends helps get us out of our routine and create new adventures. Long-time friends typically share similar values, interests and perspectives. And while it is great to have similar mind sets,

it is also beneficial to be challenged with a new way of thinking. New friendships bring new perspectives which can enhance the way one views the world. The older we get the easier it is to get caught up in our comfort zone. Diversifying friendships helps break free of this and experience opportunities that would otherwise be missed. And the best part is we don’t have time to sit around talking about the aches and pains of growing old!

The research has been done and the findings are clear; friendships enhance our lives. Having friends and spending time with them makes us happier and healthier and allows us to live life to its fullest. The weather and lifestyle here in Southwest Florida certainly suit our desire to stay active and make new friends, as well as spend time with old ones. It’s the best of both worlds!

I have to go now, as any minute Gary will be back from the airport with our friends Sue and Anne from back home in Bloomington, Illinois. We met them several years ago on a theatre trip to New York City and have since become good friends. One thing we will be definitely discussing during their visit is our trip back to New York City this coming June!

“We need old friends to help us grow old
and new friends to help us stay young”
… Anonymous

Mary, a former educator and Seniors Real Estate Specialist, is the author of four books: The West End Kid, Labor of Love; My Personal Journey through the World of Caregiving, Hotel Blackhawk; A Century of Elegance, and United Ebenezer Methodist Church: 150 Years of Resiliency.