50+ Lifestyles

Caring for Your Aging Parents

By Richard J. Schillig, CLU, ChFC, LUTCF
Independent Insurance and Financial Advisor

Caring for your aging parents is something you hope you can handle when the time comes, but it’s the last thing you want to think about. Whether the time is now or somewhere down the road, there are steps that you can take to make your life (and theirs) a little easier. Some people live their entire lives with little or no assistance from family and friends, but today Americans are living longer than ever before. It’s always better to be prepared.

The first step you need to take is talking to you parents. Find out what their needs and wishes are. In some cases, however, they may be unwilling or unable to talk about their future. This can happen for several reasons including incapacity, fear of becoming dependent, resentment toward you for interfering, reluctance to burden you with their problems.

If such is the case with your parents, you may need to do as much planning as you can without them. If their safety or health is in danger, however, you may need to step in as caregiver. The bottom line is that you need to have a plan. If you’re nervous about talking to your parents, make a list of topics that you need to discuss. That way, you’ll be less likely to forget anything. Here are some things that you may need to talk about:

• Long-term care insurance: Do they, have it? If not, should they buy it?
• Living arrangements: Can they still live alone, or is it time to explore other options?
• Medicare care decisions: What are their wishes, and who will carry them out?
• Financial planning: How can you protect their assets?
• Estate planning: Do you have all the necessary documents (wills, trusts…etc.)
• Expectations: What do you expect from your parents, and what do they expect from you?

Once you’ve opened the lines of communication your next step is to prepare a personal data record. This document lists information that you might need in case your parents become incapacitated or die. Here’s some information that should be included.:

• Financial information: bank accounts, investment accounts, real estate
• Legal information: wills, durable power of attorneys, health-care directives
• Funeral and burial plans: prepayment information, final wishes
• Medical information: health-care providers, medications, medical history
• Insurance information: policy numbers, company names
• Advisor information: names & phone numbers of any professional persons
• Location of other important records: keys to safety deposit boxes, deeds

Be sure to write down the location of documents and any relevant account numbers. It’s a good idea to make copies of all the documents you’ve gathered and keep them in a safe place. This is especially important if you live far away because you’ll want the information readily available in the event of an emergency.

If your parents are like many older folks, where they live will depend on how healthy they are. As your parents grow older, their health may deteriorate so much that they can no longer live on their own. At this point you may need to find them in-home care within a retirement community. Or you might insist they come to live with you. This decision will impact your entire family so talk about it as a family first. A lot of help is out there, including friends and extended family. AND some community resources. Here in the Quad Cities a Community Resource is Goldercare.

Don’t try to care for your parents alone. Many local and national caregiver support groups and community services are available to help you cope with caring for your aging parents. If you don’t know where to find help call 1-800-677-1116 to reach the Eldercare Locator – an information and referral service sponsored by the federal government that can direct you to resources available in your area.

Richard J. Schillig, CLU, ChFC, LUTCF is an Independent Insurance and Financial Advisor with RJS and Associates, Inc. He can be reached at (563) 332-2200.