September 1, 2023
Being a Grandparent
By Mary Schricker Gemberling
“Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines
from generation to generation.”
… Lois Wise
In 1969, nine-year old Russell Capper sent a letter to President Nixon suggesting a day be set aside to celebrate grandparents. His response from Mary Woods, personal secretary to the President read as follows:
“Dear Russell,
Thank you for your letter to President Nixon. Your suggestion regarding a Grandparent’s Day is appreciated, but the President ordinarily issues proclamations designating periods for special observance only when a Congressional resolution authorizes him to do so.
With best wishes,
Sincerely,
Rose Mary Woods
Personal Secretary to the President”
It took nine years before Capper’s idea came to fruition when in 1978 Congress passed legislation proclaiming the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day. President Jimmy Carter signed the presidential proclamation.
The role grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren today is not as simple as they might remember from their own childhood. The time when the extended family lived just houses or blocks from each other has been replaced with the challenge of relationships distanced by thousands of miles. Add to that the societal issues of divorce and blended families, cultural diversity, economic demands and time constraints. Despite these challenges, grandparents today can still play an important role in the lives of their grandchildren. They can be caregivers, teachers, or playmates. They can act as the family historian, mentor, role model, advocate, advisor and in some cases a surrogate parent. And whether they live near or far they can stay in touch and provide love and emotional closeness. They can give grandchildren a sense of belonging to an extended family and thus making a positive impact on their grandchild’s healthy development.
When Gary and I were married, I did not yet have any grandchildren but was thrust into the role of step-grandparent to Gary’s five, ranging in age from three to eighteen years old. The children’s acceptance of me in this role varied from cautious to denial. I became closest to Madison who was our most frequent visitor, and remained more distanced from those who lived further away. Frequent visits over the last twelve years have allowed me to get to know them all and watch them grow into the young men and women they are today. Regardless of the nature of the relationship I had with each grandchild, the mantra I adopted and shared with them was“ I am not trying to replace anyone; but rather be just one more person to love you.” This, I felt, allowed them to talk about the good times they remembered with their grandmother before she passed without feeling guilty for accepting me into the family.
During the first year of our marriage, my first grandchild, Lucille Elizabeth Schricker was born. I would be lying if I said my feelings for her were tempered by already being a step-grandparent. There is nothing as intense as that feeling of holding your newly born grandchild for the first time. Here is your child’s child; the bond is instant and runs so deep! When I gazed into the tiny face of Pearl nineteen months later I was euphoric. Two years later Gus came along completing that circle of son to grandson.
“My children were the rainbows of my life; my grandchildren are the pot of gold.”
Gary and I have recently been blessed with a great granddaughter, Violet Rose and great grandson, Cashtyn bringing the total number of grandchildren to eleven. My nephew and his wife who are included in all of our family holiday and vacation events have a girl and boy that bring that total to thirteen. All twenty-four of us gather annually for a weekend at Christmastime and try to go on a family vacation every two or three years. It’s the remarkable gathering of a clan of people who are less related by bloodlines than by camaraderie and the power of love.
As a writer and someone who doesn’t often find herself without words, I cannot express the abundance of love I feel for these people who have brought so much joy and happiness to my life. I guess it is my testimony to believing in a God that has seen fit to so bless me. On Sunday, September 10, Grandparents Day, I will most defiantly say a special prayer of thanks!
“Grandchildren are called ‘grand’ for a reason!”
Mary, a former educator and Seniors Real Estate Specialist, is the author of four books: The West End Kid; Labor of Love: My Personal Journey Through the World of Caregiving; Hotel Blackhawk: A Century of Elegance; and Ebenezer United Methodist Church: 150 Years of Resiliency.
