50+ Lifestyles

Finding Comfort and Joy in Remembrance

By Devin Hansen
Milestones Area Agency on Aging

For those who have lost a close family member, the holidays are an especially hard time. And not just the celebration itself, but the little things that remind us of that person. The scent of a certain candle, the feel of a favorite blanket. Hearing their favorite carol or even something silly like finding one of their socks under the bed. We never know when these memories will hit us, but when they do it’s a rush of emotions like no other.

So how do we cope with loss during the holidays? We can isolate ourselves and ruminate, or we can try to make the most of the season by celebrating the love we once shared. Here are some examples of things we can do for ourselves, or for a family member who is recently mourning:

Combine old photos and videos: Gather some of your favorite pictures and have them transferred to a single DVD, MP4 or other video. There are many companies now that will compile all the media into a single source that you can give as a gift or watch with other family members and happily reminisce.

Volunteer in their honor: The most rewarding feelings of our lives come when we help others. Especially when we expect nothing in return. Take just an hour or two a week and volunteer at a local food pantry, or as a driver to deliver meals to home-based seniors. There are many available routes at Milestones. Visit MilestonesAAA.org for more information.

Donate to their favorite charity: This is a great way to honor their memory and support a cause that was important to them.

Cook their favorite holiday dish: Look up one of their favorite recipes and try to replicate it. You may not get it exactly right, but the sights and smells are worth it.

Decorate their gravesite: Many of us leave flowers at the cemetery, though we can also share small mementos and gifts that we know they would have enjoyed.

Look for signs from them: Some people believe their loved ones send them signs from the other side. If you’re open to it, you might be surprised at what you find.

Most importantly, we should continue to celebrate and live life in a way that would make them proud. Our loved ones would want us to continue experiencing the beauty and simple joys that life can bring, while still thinking about the wonderful times we shared.

If you are still struggling, there are also grief counselors and support groups that can help you through this difficult time. Contact us at Milestones for more information: 855-410-6222.

Milestones Iowa Area Agency on Aging promotes a variety of Wellness Programs dedicated to building healthy lifestyles for older adults through education, counseling, and a variety of fitness and wellness classes to help keep you healthy and independent. Want to Learn More?  Call Milestones at (855)-410-6222 or visit milestonesaaa.org.