August 1, 2024
Just Saying…
By Q.C. Jones
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Way back in 1980, spandex and leather clad rock songstress Pat Benatar had a catchy hit single called “Hit me with your best shot.” The song would further propel Benatar’s rise as a recording artist, personality, and MTV star. Some forty years later, the song still finds its way onto the playlist of radio stations, restaurants, or in my case pizza joints. And thus finds its way into my story.
I make it a habit to attend Lopiez Pizza in downtown Davenport on a near daily basis. First, I would rate their pizza at the top of the heap. It’s New York style, the slices are gigantic, the service is friendly, and they cater to an eclectic mix of Quad Citians. Construction workers, service workers, and business types gather daily for their daily special and random conversation.
One of the unique things about the Lopiez’ is the TV in the corner of the dining room which silently replays old school professional wrestling. You know what I am talking about: Wrestle Mania, Hulk Hogan, Jimmy “the Mouth of the South” Hart, and assorted exotic lady wrestlers. The trained eye of QC Jones can instantly tell the good guys from the bad, and always feels an inner urge to cringe when one of these ne’er-do-well types interferes with the referee.
In the background, and completely independent of the wrestling action, the sound system plays various rock music. A couple of weeks ago, something strange happened. At precisely the same time, one of the good-guy wrestlers signaled to his menacing rival to hit him with his best shot, and Pat Benatar’s song played simultaneously. It left a subconscious impression.
As I walked out to my car, the song stuck in my mind. The words “hit me with your best shot” played a continuous loop, rattling around over and over. It became my mantra and the soundtrack of my life. Along the way, I probably sang the words a thousand times.
Sadly, mother nature heard me and took offense. Let me give you a quick rundown.
Act One – the bicycle wreck. It was a beautiful Saturday, so the wife and I decided to take a bike ride down to check out the farmer’s market which had been relocated due to flooding down at the Freight House. Because I have been sporting a little back issue, this was the inaugural ride of the season. My back was holding out well, and all was perfect. But the fates decided to hit me with their best shot. I had a small mishap on the bike which left me with a foot injury that has me limping along like Matt Dillan’s sidekick Chester on Gun Smoke.
Act Two – searing heat and humidity. Summer is a time for warm weather, but did we really need to have temperature indexes in the three-digit zone. I suffered because I had volunteered to fix-up some bicycles for my grandkids and a couple other folks. So, there I was working in my 100 plus degree garage, sore foot and all. Was I hit with the best shot? I don’t know, but it was certainly a close call.
Act Three – The Derecho of 2024. Officially a storm must meet two criteria to qualify as a Derecho. First, the storm must provide a wind damage swath or greater than 240 miles. Secondly, the storm must have sustained wind speeds of 58 miles per hour. Reviewing the recorded information on such storms on weather.gov, I have personally survived 17 such events. I hardly noticed any of them except the Derecho of July 5th, 2020, that knocked out the Quad-Cities’ power for a full week. This one was almost as bad. Hit with the best shot? Maybe, maybe not.
The Finale – A Derecho with a tornado on top. Like a cherry perched atop your favorite ice cream sundae, this category one tornado included with the Derecho, was something special. Again, quoting weather experts, “tornadoes sometimes form within derecho events, although such events are often difficult to confirm due to the additional damage caused by straight-line winds in the immediate area.” Hanging onto the “Sometimes,” which is the key word in this statement, this may be the best shot. The tornado passed a couple of blocks from the Jones hacienda. Trees were snapped in the next-door neighbor’s yard. Could this be nature’s best shot? We are getting close.
The Epilogue – No Air, No Electricity, No Internet, No Nothing. Strangely, the QC Jones family has adjusted to living a modern lifestyle. No air-conditioning in this
sweltering heat was bad enough, but being separated from the internet really was the worst of all these best shot attempts. It was a third world experience. I came to the quick realization that my alarm clock, television, and most news sources were internet based.
Under the heading of true confessions and long-term contemplation, listening to that darn song may have been the root cause of suffering for thousands of people.
I will never repeat the phrase, “hit me with your best shot” ever again.
Just saying…. QC Jones.
