50+ Lifestyles

No Greater Gift

By Mary Schricker Gemberling

“Grandparents are voices of the past
and the door to the future.
They provide us with thewisdom for a lifetime of experience
that should never be undervalued.”

With all the back to school ads, I am reminded of the time when I was still teaching and raising my sons. I frequently had mixed feelings about this time of year; I was excited for a new school year for all of us while lamenting the loss of those lazy, no schedule days of summer. In the twenty-four years since my youngest graduated high school and I retired, September has taken on a new meaning. Autumn in my retirement years has meant traveling in search of vibrant autumn colors, cheering on our favorite football teams, visiting fall festivals, and preparing favorite fall recipes. While still pursuing these activities, this year is a bit different for us. We are living just a few miles from three of our grandchildren who are returning to school after a fun-filled summer. The two youngest, Pearl and Gus, are at Blue Grass school while Lucille is entering a new chapter in her life as she begins middle school at Walcott.

Recently my thoughts have turned to how I can best support my grandchildren during the upcoming year without being intrusive. Education has always been high on my list, and I want my grandchildren to succeed in school and be happy doing it.

So what is the golden rule for grandparents?

“It is to love unconditionally, offering unwavering support and affection. It involves respecting parents’ authority and decisions while fostering a deep emotional connection. Grandparents should provide guidance but always prioritize the well-being and happiness of their grandchildren.”

I know a grandparent’s involvement begins with presence and encouragement. It’s important to be a positive role model by demonstrating kindness, integrity and respect in actions and interactions. By exhibiting these qualities, grandparents can provide a living example that fosters values grandchildren can observe, learn from, and emulate.

The greatest assets grandparents have are their experiences that have spanned multiple decades of change. We have seen and done things that are completely foreign to the younger generations. By sharing some of these experiences, we are broadening their range of knowledge and understanding. The lessons that often come from grandparents can be unique and stay in the archive of children’s memories for years to come. Here are some specific ways we can help and influence our grandchildren:

History. Children may not always like history as a subject in school because the concepts they are being taught can seem so distant to them. But hearing about history through the eyes of grandparents who have lived it can be a positive experience. Many of us have lived through remarkable times. The changes we have seen as the ‘Greatest Generation’ need to be shared in order to survive past our expiration dates. Talking about having a single rotary phone in the kitchen of our houses while growing up might quell some disagreements about overuse of mobile phones by a pre-teen granddaughter. Sharing pictures of places around the world we have visited may bring clearer understanding to World History as a subject. Showing grandchildren pictures of distant family members can give children a sense of security and belonging to a larger group. The list of experiences we have had goes on and on and can provide fodder for discussion for many conversations with grandchildren, showing them the valued side of history.

A New Skill Set. When we were growing up, many grandparents learned skills such as sewing, gardening, baking, farming or woodworking. These are great things to pass on to grandchildren, as some of them may not be taught anymore but are new and useful talents to possess. Growing up, my mom taught me to sew, and as a young teen I made most of my own clothes. Teaching today’s generation to sew can not only give them a unique skill but encourage their creativity. My mom also passed on her love for cooking, a skill I am hoping to instill in my grandchildren. Just think of all the things you learned to do in your life and may still love as hobbies and share your story. The time spent doing so will create a meaningful bond to carry with them throughout their lives. and perhaps with a grandchild of their own.

Wisdom. In our many years of living, we have learned multiple life lessons we can share with our grandchildren. I often hear older people talk about the absence of some of these qualities in the young people today. Here are just a few:

• The value of hard work.
• The power of perseverance
• The importance of family
• Respect
• Gratitude
• Humility
• Love

Many parents already teach their children these life lessons, but it does not hurt to reinforce. Sometimes hearing it through the stories of grandparents merely cements what they have already been taught.

Family History. Show pictures of those long ago family members and share stories and memories you have with your grandchildren. Talk about the importance of thesepeople in your life and how knowing them impacted you. Teach grandchildren the importance of belonging to a greater group with whom they share family traits and history.

Humor. Teasing and joking around is a part of growing up, but when it comes from someone who loves you unconditionally it is way more enjoyable. Without a doubt, my husband, Gary’s, greatest trait as a grandparent is his wonderful sense of humor. He has the ability to bring out the best in each and every one of our grandchildren with his humor. In the environment of laughter, their love and acceptance of each other knows no bounds.

Listening. “Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self”. Helping your grandchildren to be good listeners is one of the most important skills you can share with them. Wisdom is the reward they will reap for a lifetime of listening when they might have preferred to talk. It will make them a wiser, more compassionate and respectful person.

Play Games. We love to play games with our grandchildren. A few years ago while on a trip, Gary and I learned to play the card game, Five Crowns. We taught our granddaughters how to play and since then they have taught family and friends. Just a couple of weeks ago we taught them how to play Euchre. It was difficult at first but they pursued and found out in the end they enjoyed the game. Many skills, especially the ability to lose gracefully, can result from learning to play card and board games. It is a welcome change in our world of electronic devices.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Grandparents have lived a long time and have learned to not get too upset over the little things in life. Young grandchildren who tend to over- react to everything can learn to adjust their priorities by discussing problems with their grandparents who have the ability to see the bigger picture. Almost every situation has good and bad circumstances and pointing them out to grandchildren can help them better cope with unforeseen situations in their life.

Emotional Support. Having a sounding board who does not spend every day with you can be invaluable as your grandchildren navigate life, especially the teenage years. Grandparents can serve as an impartial and nonjudgmental source of understanding during these growing-up years.

There is no greater gift you can give your grandchildren than your wisdom and unconditional love. Cherish the time you get to spend with them, and in turn they will gain insight and character they can someday pass on to their own children.

“Some of the world’s best educators are grandparents”

Mary, a former educator and Seniors Real Estate Specialist is the author of four books: The West End Kid, Labor of Love; My Personal Journey through the World of Caregiving, Hotel Blackhawk: A Century of Elegance, and United Methodist Church; 150 Years of Resiliency.