50+ Lifestyles

Just Saying…

A Closer Look at Christmas Presents

By Q.C. Jones

Last week a group of friends from my high school days shared some thoughts on Christmas/Holiday gifts. The main driver of the conversation revolved around this seemingly simple question: What should we be doing for Christmas gifts this year?

Long after the exchange of ideas, my mind continued to dwell on the topic.  “ ’Tis the season,” and being a legendary procrastinator, I set forth on a journey to perhaps change my last-minute gift giving to something a little more proactive, practical, and all the rest.

The more I noodled on the whole gift experience, the more I came to realize that gifts fall into four basic categories.  Here is my short list:

• Things a person wants.  These encompass the items typically found in letters to Santa.  For example, the young QC Jones really wanted a genuine Red Ryder BB Gun back in the winter of 1963.
• Stuff the recipient needs.  During the same year, I needed several new pairs of socks for school. My 9-year-old self didn’t care about socks and would have rather worn the old pairs with holes or no socks at all.  I needed them but there was no thrill in receiving a gift-wrapped package of socks from Grandma.
• The Generic gift. These are those one-size-fits-all specials you get from the car dealership, insurance guy, or some other business. These range from fancy pens to cookies and Wisconsin cheese packets.
• Consumables. These are items you often enjoy and when selected properly add a special treat to your life. These can be candles, perfumes, colognes, a favorite food, or QC’s personal favorite – bottles of strong spirits.

Sharing this list with a few trusted advisors from the exclusive Village Heights of Davenport, aka the Hollywood Hills of Iowa, I was informed that some gifts might fall into several categories. For example, there are a few folks out there who have a fetish-like love of argyle socks. These people both need and want socks. However, the “argyle” descriptor is important. While they may need socks, they want that special pattern made of diamonds or lozenges.

This same phenomenon might be tied to something as simple as the generic gift. For example, years ago my brother’s financial planning business sent me a really cool insulated coffee thermos. I had been considering upgrading my morning coffee container from a recycled spaghetti jar to something a little less dangerous. By accident, the gift could have fallen into both the generic and wanted categories.  While I am sure some of those receiving this gift simply added to their already accumulated stack of coffee carriers, for me it became a cherished gift.

In the mind of your humble correspondent, there is nothing better than getting something you truly want. But for those shopping for a gaggle of grandkids, cousins by the dozens, and a list of great friends, determining that special present that they want can be a daunting task.

Life would be so much simpler if everyone wrote and published a letter to Santa.  To give you an idea, I decided to write Santa just one more time and share with the world.

Dear Santa,

Well, it’s been a while since I wrote you a letter – about 60 years, give or take – but I figured it’s never too late to reach out to an old friend! 

I’m not sure if you are still tracking me for the naughty and nice list. Quite frankly, I wonder if the practice is still considered legal – with all the new privacy laws. But trust me, I have been solidly “nice” since we last talked. Thought I would share my list.

Remember that pocketknife you put under the tree in 1962? I still have it, and I want more. Over the years, I have managed to buy hundreds of knives just like it.  Unfortunately, I lost all but 40 or 50 of them, but I still want more. My motto is a man can never have too many pocketknives. Think the elves can make me one from real American steel rather than that Chinese stuff?
It just doesn’t cut it.

Harmonicas. I play music with friends every week, and a new Hohner Special 20 harmonica in the key of G is perfect.  If it matters, I can lay down the tune, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, in the key of G.

If any of your elves have Kentucky connections, I have grown fond of Kentucky whiskey. I only take it moderation for medicinal purposes. I really want to try out some of the three-year-old hootch they are fond of making. Nothing expensive, mind you, just make sure the bottle stays corked all the way to my house. Don’t be nipping on it while you drive the sleigh.

I promise I’ll leave you some cookies.  I might even join you for a sip of that Kentucky stuff, if you promise to let one of the elves drive the sleigh!  Merry Christmas from your old pal!                      

                                             QC Jones

Finally, from your journalistic pal, allow me to add my best Holiday blessings… Just saying QC Jones