50+ Lifestyles

Aging and You

Loneliness and Social Isolation

By Julie Arndt
Marketing Director at Ridgecrest Village

Loneliness and social isolation – words we hear being bantered about and don’t give a lot of thought about what they mean. I have given presentations involving the impact of social isolation and have even written about it. So, I was totally caught off guard at my response to the beginning scene of Man on the Inside, a lighthearted Netflix series about a recent widower (played by Ted Danson) who is ultimately hired by a private detective to move into a retirement community as an undercover operative to find a thief. It is estimated that 1 in 3 adults in the U.S. report feeling lonely, and studies suggest loneliness and social isolation are associated with higher risk for health problems, such as heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline [National Institute of on Aging]. This heartwarming series reveals how easily this can happen, very much humanizing the clinical statistics.

The opening scene is one of a retired engineering professor jumping out of bed, as if he’s going to work. He grooms himself to the nines and puts on his fancy suit, only to sit and read the paper and fall asleep through the course of the day. He keeps his relationship alive with his daughter by clipping articles about obscure subjects, commenting on them and mailing them to her. This intelligent successful kind man is alone and socially isolated. He is bored, sleeping his days away. Even though it’s a comedy, for me it offered profound insight into what it’s like for some people before they move to senior community living. It also made me think of all for others who don’t move when they could.

So why am I writing about a show? Because Man on the Inside artfully displays what happens to so many of us as we age. We get married, have a family, enjoy a career and the social/identity that goes with all of it, until something changes. In Ted Danson’s case, his wife dies. He continues to go through his daily routine, absent his mate. Being retired, without his spouse or family living close by his life is hollow. He appears to be withering away until he takes this job as an undercover resident in a retirement community.

He doesn’t “need” a retirement community, but the job that he takes requires it, so he moves in. It is fascinating to watch the metamorphosis that occurs during his time there. He becomes “alive” again. Having purpose and being around others who are at similar stages of life liberates him. He establishes deep bonds and friendships based on several factors, some which appear to surprise him. There is always something “to do” at the community. He is a leader and fiercely compassionate in supporting other residents as they navigate life.

You will need to watch the series to know what else happens, but this comedy unequivocally reveals truth about so many things. Loneliness and social isolation can be combatted. Life is full of new beginnings regardless of your age or health. And of course, living in a retirement community can be liberating, full of new friendships and getting reacquainted with friends from the past. Someone else can do the planning, cleaning and cooking. It’s nice to have social opportunities at every turn. You don’t have to be alone, unless you want to be.  

Ridgecrest Village is hosting an open house on February 12th featuring Northridge Independent Living. Ted Danson won’t be joining us, but all the same we welcome you to try Ridgecrest on for size. Feel free to stop in, have a tour and join us for a cup of coffee. You may be surprised that you find it’s time for you to make the move.