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By Gail Glockhoff-Long
GolderCare Solutions
Benefits Advocate

February is a Time to Show Your Love

I remember Grade School days at Hillcrest in East Moline this time of year. We decorated construction paper envelopes with hearts in art class. On Valentine’s Day, everyone distributed Valentine cards to the rest of the class into these envelopes. And there were usually heart shaped cookies or other treats for our class party. As we got older, Valentines cards and gifts were a more exclusive thing reserved for our special sweetheart to show our love. Even as an adult, Mom often sent us Valentine Cards as a reminder of her love.

There are many ways to show your love. Flowers and candy are great but caring for someone is the greatest way to show love. Who do you care for?  Who is your Valentine this year?  There are many types of caregivers and care managers we need to remember this Valentine’s Day.

Caregiving for a spouse or parents is the most common caregiving combination. Statistics show the greatest amount of free senior care is provided by family members. These caregivers are the most prepared and are usually the Power of Attorney. They are also most likely to have knowledge of medical and financial history. With that said, it is surprising how many caregivers in this category have no knowledge of their loved one’s pension information.

Recently GolderCare has seen more situations where there is no spouse or child to step in, and the role of caregiver/care manager is taken on by either a sibling or grandchild. We have no children, and my niece already knows she will most likely be the one to make our care
decisions when the time comes. If a parent is caregiver for a disabled child, when that parent becomes disabled themselves, or dies, a sibling or niece/nephew is often the person to step into the role. Too often these family members had made no plan for this responsibility. I have stepped into that role for my disabled sister with another sister as my back-up.  Fortunately, sister and I knew from childhood that this would eventually be our role and were well prepared. In our situation, we took over the role for sister when Mom was still alive and able to fill in the blanks of information we did not know.

For those without family, we have seen neighbors or friends step up. That is true love and compassion to care for a non-relative. This situation can be tricky and has extra complications.  There is a greater potential of adult protective services becoming involved due to financial abuse. Higher attention to compliance is required to protect both the person receiving care and the caregiver.

When family members and friends take on the role of caregiver, they are generally less prepared. They often have neither the personal knowledge nor life experience. Imagine a 25 year old grandchild who is just starting to maneuver the world as a responsible adult suddenly being responsible for overseeing care and finances for their 80 year old grandparent. We have seen that ‘Deer in Headlights’ look more than once.

The responsibility can appear overwhelming. So, what do you need to know as care manager? Where do you start?

A good place to start for basic education on documents needed, levels of care, and how to pay for that care is the GolderCare website. Check out the Education On Demand webinars and educational material on the site. This is general information and not everything will be applicable to your situation, but it is a good starting point. The next step is to meet with GolderCare for guidance on your individual situation.

You never know when you may be called upon to be a caregiver – or will need a caregiver for yourself.  Be prepared.  Show your love by asking important questions of those you may need to care for in the future. Then pass that love on by sharing important information with those likely to be your caregiver. It will make both their life, and your life, easier when the time comes.

Happy Valentine’s Day from GolderCare to all Caregivers!!

The GolderCare team are independent senior advocates that assist families with the issues of aging. GolderCare has offices in Moline and Bettendorf. You can reach GolderCare at (309) 764-2273 or learn more at www.goldercare.com.