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Thankfulness Is in Your Perspective

By Gail Glockhoff-Long
GolderCare Solutions
Benefits Advocate

November is a time when we start cocooning for winter and think back on the blessings of the past year. The beauty of the fall trees. My summer zinnia garden. The aroma of the herb garden that was then potted and moved indoors.  Thankful for beautiful weather while on vacation. Thankful for friends and family. Thankful for caregivers for their loving care to family, friends and clients. These are the standard list.

I am also thankful this year that my sister passed before I did.  That sounds odd, but you have to look at the perspective. My youngest sister and I have been looking out for the sister between us for most of our lives. Julia was born developmentally challenged. Her care management fell to sister and I as our parents aged. Julia was well read, had a great sense of humor, and loved sports. She could also be a challenge because she fell into the cracks of all the systems. She was too high function to fit into the ARC group homes. She was not high enough function to live independently. If she got off her medication schedule her behavior could be erratic. She had limited income. There were lots of decisions that had to be made.

I am thankful that, as a care advocate, I understood the senior care network of options and payment systems so I could make the best decisions for Julia. My siblings are very intelligent, well intended people but making living and care decisions for Julia was totally foreign. Advocates need a knowledge of the systems involved, compassion, the ability to know when you need help, and the strength to speak up and fight for what your person needs.     

She was amazingly healthy and rarely had more than a cold.  With our parents living to 95 and 100, the thought had crossed our minds – what if she outlives us? Who takes over when we are not able? The family had a plan of who was next to take responsibility. Julia had legal documents that listed a succession of agents.

My thankfulness is that she enjoyed living her normal social life until the day of her massive heart attack. I am also thankful that she was never in pain or in fear during her days in the hospitals before she passed. Julia knew there was a plan and that we would advocate for her. I am thankful to have been her advocate.

Is there a disabled person in your family? Is there a plan?  Does the rest of the family know the plan? Who will be guiding their decisions? If the disabled person is on Medicaid, leaving money directly to them in your Will could disqualify them from Medicaid benefits. Planning ahead offers ways to leave money for their use without losing benefits.

GolderCare offers both care and financial decision support to families navigating the world of care for a senior or person with disabilities. Let our team knowledge help make your path smoother.

Gail is a Benefits Advocate and Insurance Specialist.  GolderCare has been assisting seniors in Iowa and Illinois with decision support, care management, placement and cost of care issues since 2008.